Communicating desires and fantasies with your partner: your questions answered

Every person has some sort of sexual fantasy. However, bringing up and communicating it with a partner might often be very stressful. It doesn’t matter whether it is something that to most might seem normal or something more freaky you are still opening up yourself. You don’t always know how the other person is going to react to it. Sometimes it could even end up in rejection. 

That is why many people don’t discuss their sexual desires and often don’t communicate if they are dissatisfied. As we mentioned before, everyone has some sort of fantasy. You might want to try Indian Nuru Massage. Or maybe you want to try to tie and tease. There are so many things that go through people’s heads, and whether it’s something more common or not, you should never be concerned or ashamed about it.

That’s why in this article, we are going to cover the topic of speaking about sexual fantasies with your partner.

Why should you communicate your fantasies?

It’s a well-known fact that couples who have strong communication have very good sex lives. Suppose your sex life is not satisfying, and there are issues. In that case, having a very open and honest conversation with your partner is a good idea. It will most definitely improve your relationship and make both of you happier.

Some of the best reasons why you should talk with your partner are:

  • Trying something new - If you think your sex life has become a routine and boring, it might be a good idea to try something new and exciting. Maybe you want to try out Indian Head Massage. You should ask your partner what they are comfortable with and if they think it’s something they could do.
  • Rejection - The longer you are with your partner, the less exciting your sex life can get. Especially if you don’t communicate well about your wants and needs, sex can become a routine. Very often, it leads to one side losing interest while the other starts to feel that something is not right. If you don’t want this to happen, then it’s a good idea to speak with your partner.
  • Fantasies - Everyone has some sort of sexual fantasy, and it should be communicated with your partner. It will allow you to stop obsessing about it and wondering whether they will agree to do it. You never know; maybe they also had this particular fantasy on their mind for a long time.

How to open up to your partner?

Talking about your sexual fantasy with a partner is usually easier than you think. It can be as simple as saying, “ Hey, I had this fantasy for a long time, and I would like to talk with you about it.”

However, if going straight to the point makes you very stressed or even feel embarrassed, then there are other ways to bring up the topic of fantasy. For example, you can start explaining it as something that you read in a book or saw in a TV show and then look at your partner’s reaction. Alternatively, if this is something more common such as tie and tease, you can bring it up during sex. People are usually more open to trying out new stuff while in bed. 

It is also important to use a correct tone of voice when speaking to your partner about sexual wants and needs. You shouldn’t say something along the lines of  “We have to talk about sex”. This type of tone always makes the other side feel like something is definitely wrong. It’s better to say something like, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about doing something creative in bed…”.

The setting is also very important. Usually, for most people, the best time to speak about sexual fantasies is when both of you are in bed. Another good setting is when both of you are relaxed and watching a movie or doing something together. Lastly, you might bring it up when something similar happens in a TV show, or your friend mentions it.

Another important thing is to know when to stop, so you don’t push it beyond your partner’s limits. Just because your partner agreed to fulfil your sexual fantasy doesn’t mean they enjoy it as much as you do. Most often than not, a relationship is built on compromises. Before doing anything, you should speak with your partner and listen to what they have to say. It might be a good idea to give them some time after the talk so it can sink in. However, don’t feel discouraged if they return to you and say no to your sexual fantasy. Everyone has boundaries, and your partner might not be into this as much as you do. At least you opened up, and now both of you know each other better.

It’s always scary to open up to another person about your desires. Even if it’s a healthy relationship, everyone has their own secrets. However, as you can see, speaking about your sexual wants and needs is easier than it seems. It’s important to use correct words and tone of voice and clearly communicate what you want. You never know. Maybe because of this conversation, your sex life is going to be ten times better